Feeeelix!

J o s e F e l i xThis kid...Ah, where to start?
Your first impression of Felix really depends on the exact moment you first run into him. He is either scowling and sticking his tongue out or smiling and giggling as his eyes squint with happiness. He is either the bad boy in class, breaking all the rules or the goofy boy, laying on the floor getting tickled. Whether he is happy or sad he's always making quite the impression on his class as I often hear "Feeeeelix" (Pronounced; Fay-Leex) being yelled from across the room. 

One second....

 

 

The very next second!

Felix has a hard time writing down words correctly when he hears them. He blends them all together into one word or breaks them apart in the middle of words. A trying task is the time in which I read sentences to him and he writes them down for review. I don't know who dislikes this activity more. Once, the sentence I read was "There are 5 frogs in my house." Following me reading the sentence Felix ran away from his desk close to 10 times, I read the sentence close to 15 times, and 25 minutes later he finally wrote it down. Now every time I ask him Guess what? He responds "There are 5 frogs in your house!!!! "
Another time he was supposed to be reading a book to me but was in one of his angry, little moods. He mumbled through an entire page as I tried my hardest to listen for mistakes. When he got to the end of the page I smiled and said "Felix, I can't quite hear you." A few seconds passed then he looked up from him book with a half grin, half scowl and firmly said "Listen better."

My first two weeks here, Felix & I seemed to get a long quite well. Sure, he tried to be a bad boy but I could always force him into a smile a few seconds into his act. But then I hit a slump...
For about two weeks in there Jose Felix wasn't the happy boy I'd seen at all. At least not to me. He almost seemed angry with me when I tried talking to him and he never wanted my help anymore. It was a kind of sadness/disappointment I hadn't ever felt before...

But this last week I had a break through! Unfortunately with the language difference my way of solving the problem was to just leave him alone and hope he'd want to be friends again later.
Well he did. As I was helping another kid with homework I heard him say, I want Profe Shelvy's help. The main teacher in our class told him he would have to go ask politely and he got quite shy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him walk up to me slowly and quietly say Help me, please Profe Shelvy. I can't even describe how much my heart felt in that moment.

Since then I have had some of the best moments with Jose Felix. He still can be difficult at times, keeping me on my toes and needing to be carried over my shoulder back into class after running away. But the giggle I get from him afterwards is worth the trouble.
When I look into his eyes I see so much pain and so much hurt. Without knowing a thing I understand why he is how he is. No words can really describe what it feels like to have strong, little hands hold yours. Dark, dirty little hands up against mine so tenderly and sweet. No words can sum up the feeling of those eyes looking into mine...I mean really looking. Without putting up a face I have seen started to see the real, vulnerable boy under his many moods. Just for the reward of truly seeing that boy, I'll continue pursuing the mystery of Jose Felix.