Something on my mind..

With all the love and support I am getting from back home it is easy to find fulfillment in myself by thinking of “You are so amazing”, “You are a great person”, “You’re helping so many people”, You, You, You. It makes me happy. Momentarily.

That happiness is not joy, it is not truly fulfilling, and it does not last long. Before I know it I am reminded of who I really am. I am a young women full of mistakes, full of sin, unworthy of the life I have been given.
Romans 3:10 "There is none righteous, no not even one."
So why am I trying to bring myself happiness through these feel good thoughts about myself?

Where I have found the most happiness and true joy in my life is when I realize how unlovable I am. Sounds depressing right? Why would Shelby find so much joy in coming to terms with what a dirt bag she is?
Well that’s where the word joy comes in...

Hebrews 12:1&2
"...lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for THE JOY set before Him endured the cross, despising shame..."

I am a human, I am sinner but Jesus chose to die for me. When I didn’t deserve anything but death He considered me the honor and joy to die for. Wow. We've all heard about how God sent His son to die in our place but I challenge you to take a moment; be humble, and realize how much you didn't deserve that. He didn't just do a life saving favor because He had to, but through His grace He considered You, Me, Everyone...
Joy.

Now I can live a life (Romans 6) through Jesus! Not a life where I find appreciation and worth in myself but a life where I depend on the one who saved me from my deserved life. I am dead to sin if I accept Jesus. And I do, I accept His joyful sacrifice for me and I choose to let Him work in me!

 "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

That is my joy! Not in anything I have done, am doing, or will ever do but only in what Christ has done for me. That is the only way to truly fulfill the earning for joy in my life.
I am nothing, Christ is everything!!! Let anyone who boasts, boast in the Lord.

Maybe I just ranted or maybe this was relate able to you. If this made sense, please, do something about it. A gift doesn't do you any good unless it's received. Email me or message me if you have any questions or want to talk more about this.